My Sad Reality

There are things in this world that seem so hard to live with...There are also things in this world that seem so hard to live WITHOUT. And sadly...I'm one of those things...There are times that I'd love to just die...No more pain or worry, no more stress, no more tears....but at the same time, I want to live to see the world, to be with who I love, to be Kyli...Here we are to my sad reality...I'm NOT Kyli. Not anymore...Not the Kyli I was before...at least. I'm harder, harsher, in more pain, more stressed...less happy. I have my AMAZING days...but then again, I have my days where I cry for hours in a row...This past Sunday was one of those days. =\ I couldn't stop crying...I wanted to die...I was in so much EMOTIONAL pain...I couldn't stand it...or myself. I used to talk to Freddie when I had days like that...but since me and Andrew got together, he hates me...I feel like I've lost my best friend, just because I want to be happy =( So, I talked to Andrew...he got SO worried...it made me laugh a lil. I'm so glad that he didn't know me when I went through that month of depression...it was horrible. Sunday, I felt like I had gone back to that month...The next morning I woke up with swollen eyes, and the swelling finally went away today. I'm happy today, but I still have this ache in my chest...It still hurts to breathe...I suppose I deserve that.