Days Go By - A look into my head

It's hit me. Everything all at once. It's an overwhelming feeling of fear and...recognition. The years, they've flown. The weeks, they go. And the days, well they just seem to fly. We've all changed so much and it seems like all at once. I hate saying it...but I'm not the same. I'm not the Kyli I was before...I'm me...I just don't feel real anymore. Or is it that I feel more real than I ever have before? I feel confused and dazed. Where did I go? The people who I loved, the people who I saw, the people I used to know...where did we all go? I feel alone in a world of drastic change. My world. No, not my world. My REALITY. I feel like this cloud of darkness is coming over me and it's swallowing me...what if it swallows me whole? Where will I go? Did God leave me to fight for my own? No. I can't think like that...why would I? Kyli, get a grip. Think of all that He's given you. Your family, your friends, your LIFE. He's blessed you and you know it. You're just scared. Ha! Scared...you're TERRIFIED. You think that if you blame it on Him...you'll feel better...No, you don't, you feel worse. Get a grip. You're smarter than that. Or am I? I think too much...I believe that how I think and WHAT I think is slowly killing me. Ha...there ya go...slow suicide. *sigh* I wish I could find an escape...an escape from myself.